Looking Forward to a Great Leap Backwards

Republicans, in general, and the Whiskers family, in particular, have much to look forward to in 2012.  The end of the Obama administration, the rise of an energized conservative electorate, the recovery of our stock portfolio, and the safe return of our daughter Belinda from her over seas mission in Canada as part of our chuch's economic prosperity campaign.  Nonetheless, it doesn't take much to send even the most optimistic and positive Whiskers spinning into a spiral descent of despair, even in the midst of such wonderful prospects, as if each of our hopes rising to the sun casts a new shadow of gloom: Perhaps the Republican Presidential nominee and inevitable next President will, as so many before have done, abandon their principled supporters and seek only to enrich their most powerful campaign contributors.  Perhaps the stock market recovery will be temporary and then sink low, so as to require Sturgeon to continue working well beyond his "retirement" date.  Perhaps Belinda will remain in Quebec, as she has threatened, and marry the Catholic welder who may have already knocked her up.  It is vital that we not succumb to such negative fears and embrace each rising hope as a child grasps a helium balloon until he or she releases it when distracted by the arrival of a birthday cake or costumed party entertainment specialist, like my nephew Ralph.   When I am disheartened, I find new heart by visiting Shad, my grandson, the unexpected gift of Belinda's overly friendly demeanor and inadequate knowledge of contraceptive devices before she returned to her home and church last year after moving to Atlanta for her unpaid internship with Coca Cola's Formula Protection Security Services Division.  Shad is a beautiful boy, who smiles and coos even while squirming in a dirty diaper!  That delight in his own waste brings a smile to every Whiskers, except Shirley, my beloved wife who has to change the diapers while Belinda is in Canada.  Shad is, as most yearlings are, selfish, self-absorbed, needy and irritable, so essentially natural Republicans.   His shrieks, his piercing cries, the gurgle of his vomit, all designed to bring uncompensated care from the compassionate weak and liberal caregivers who surround him, while strengthening his capacity for power, control and manipulation.   Shad has no New Years Resolutions, and needs none.  He is perfect and a model for every Republican and Whiskers.   If only he were eligible to run for President!